Please note: This refers to road cycling only. Mountain biking, BMXing (hell, even unicycling) is completely acceptable.
I am overcome daily with the desire to apply the laws of physics (speed, mass, velocity) whilst driving. If you are going to dress up in MATCHING, tight pink lycra, shave your legs and head out onto areas of our planet designed, built and clearly suitable for motor going vehicles, you are asking for trouble.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for regular exercise, i even get the concept that these clowns feel some sense of belonging in their branded little outfits, BUT.....cycling in a group of 4 or more with "TEAM BOB'S ELECTRICAL" does not give you pricks the right to ride next to each other, EVER!
Patting each others asses as you overtake? Are you serious? The rage that wells up inside of me when i witness grown men(women) perform this bizarre ritual, deep breath, count to 10, keep hands on steering wheel......
Of course, no article could be written about cyclists without drawing attention to something so spectacularly mind boggling that i expect to see it featured on Stephen Hawkings universe on discovery TV: Talking, and sometimes even texting!!!! on your cellphone, whilst cycling on busy roads (once again, surrounded by 2000kg engine powered vehicles). It makes you wonder that possibly, the asshole is thinking ahead, texting his wife perhaps: "hi honey, see you at medi-clinic in 30 min, about to be side-swiped by a 16 wheeler mac truck, lol...)
Having donated $5 to the Lance Armstrong foundation does not automatically grant you superpowers and no, spending enough money to feed a small country for a week on a bike, will not make you cycle like him either (blogs about Lance and what a complete prick he is, to follow).
"Fun riders" identifiable by their unshaven legs, underpants underneath their cycling shorts (comparable to the fashion fuax par of the visible panty line or VPL) and mountain bikes WITH off road tyres are considered fair game when driving, i liken them to Darwins theory of evolution or survival of the fittest, easier to catch....
You fuckers get the use of the road for ONE day of the year in March, other than that, you're a menace, hanging out at the Sandbar does not look cool after a ride. Now, where is my razor.......
Imagine what the fish must be saying about you surfers!
ReplyDeleteI have some suggestions for you which may help when approaching a group of cyclists.
A - SLOW THE FUCK DOWN when approaching cyclist/cyclists!
B - Your car does have brakes and applying them might make you get to your destination 5 seconds later!
C - PATIENCE!!!
D - We have every right to be on the road! Sometimes reading the K53 drivers test book may shed some light!
E - Yes, you are in a car/bakkie/tank. Yes your car is faster. Yes you will KILL us if you do something stupid so why not have some patience!
F - Give us some indication that you may be behind us.. A 1second hoot is enough! Anything longer than 1 second from 100m away is just plain STUPID!!!
G - If you are late for an appointment, its YOUR problem! Leave home earlier and dont kill cyclists along the way! Speed kills!
H - We do not have enough bicycle lanes in South Africa so if you think its a problem please chat to our City Coucil!
I can go on and on but then I would be doing what you doing and complain!!
This cyclist problem is an issue here cos we are agro drivers!
I've cycled in Europe and not once did we have an issue on the road with motorists. Cars would follow us for km's and only overtake when they could with NO DRAMA and we even got a friendly hello wave!! People on roads here have lost patience and its shows.
Try this next time you approach a group of cyclists.. Apply brakes, slow down a bit... wait for a safe gap, overtake and wave hello, thumbs up!! I promise you will feel better.
As for texting and cellphones on bikes, NOT cool and STUPID!!
Be good enjoy your day and wwooooossssaaaaa!!!
Let me know when you're ready to hit the bike!
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFor completely logical reasons, vehicles (like scooters for example) below 125cc or somewhere thereabouts are not allowed on motorways. These vehicles can't keep up with traffic, have not got the passing power they need to be sharing the road with cars. Applying similar reasoning to regular surface streets, I cannot understand why cycling is allowed on the road!! Cyclist, are you superior and do you deserve more privilege than say, inline skaters (roller bladers), skate boarders? Because they would surely get in your fucking way scratching along the shoulder or side of the traffic lane. That you think that you belong on the road at all pisses me off, but that you have the audacity to ride along side of one another is totally arrogant. I have no fucking sympathy for cyclists that get knocked over. I mean, I sure hope you don't die, but I hope you hobble around on some crutches and stay the fuck off the road for 6 weeks. Adults playing in traffic...what do you expect?
ReplyDeleteWe don't have pavements alongside the motorway. Should pedestrians be entitled to sport-walk in groups down the fucking highway?? If you want a place to ride, why don't YOU ask our city council?? How dare you impose on all of the motorists??
You're in a a metal car!!! Are cyclists such a threat to drivers?
ReplyDeleteWhat what you do if you child became a cyclist??? and what would you do if your child was killed in a cycling accident by some CHOP driver that couldn't wait for 10 seconds to overtake??
Cyclists arent the problem!!! Its educating drivers that they are not all F1 drivers!
Our driving attitude in the country is all wrong!
What would you do if your child played in traffic where metal cars drive? I would do my best to make sure he doesn't. I am not comparing the threat. Cyclists are endangering themselves and inconveniencing motorists. Your argument is a bit nonsensical and your passion for your sport will not make your argument any better.
ReplyDeleteI am not a fast or reckless driver and for me, Cyclists are a problem.
P.S. If my child became a cyclist I would invite his boyfriend home for dinner.
Ok. this is yet again a sensitive nerve.
ReplyDeleteThis is simple actually. How about we all have a bit of tollerance for each other. Cyclists need to learn that riding abreast of another does cause issues in narrow roads and would be better to ride single file as far left as possible. if the road is nice, wide and quiet, the two abreast is fine. however, if cars do appear behind you and you are hindering the flow of traffic, then move to single file and everyone can go about their day.
now, mortorists, yes i agree that the cyclists can be inconsidderate, however, threatening to run people over or actually doing it is simply silly. i mean think about it, if you or your family were on cycles, not even as a sport but going down to a shop[ and one of these people that you ensite comes past and decides you are the one he gets to hit... what then? how would you feel if your son or daughter gets killed by and angry motorist. they probably did nothing but now they are dead. how would you feel? now do you hate motorists. Slow down for two seconds check it is clear and pass, five seconds behind a bike willl not kill you.
on that note cyclists, keeps to the left, let the traffic past and lets all get along.
what is it with this world at the moment where we all have to race around with this "me first attitude"?
As to the outfits, if i want to wear lycra and parade around in it, thats my choice, I mean no one comments on your green plad golf pants now do they...
anyway, why do we all just chill out, relax, stop getting so angry at each other and enjoy the fact that we have a beautiful country with so many diverse people in it.
I have been cycling for 20 years, driving for 13 years. I to get frustrated with cyclists who believe they own the road and take over. however, i also cycle and spend many hours a week on my bike and some motorists are also just silly.
so the moral of the story, relax take a breath and lets all play nice with others.
I win.
ReplyDeletehaha - this is a great thread.
ReplyDeletefirstly if my child became a cyclist i would beat him!
secondly why dont you blady cyclists just get those stationary gym bike and stay home where you can act like complete pricks in your own home and smell your farts and shove celery in your arse (apologies but i cant seem to think of another pathetic insult that matches those stupid outfits and actually riding a bicycle with your chum in the traffic side by side having a chat). Why dont you all get speedo (you probably have speedos) and take pictures of yourselves hugging a cardboard cutout of the queen - yes exactly, its fuckin stupid!
hey you there in your tit pants on your blady bicycle - PISS OFF!