national radio

i spend a lot of time in my car. this equates to a lot of time spent listening to the radio (normally turned up to a ridiculously high volume to drown out the sounds of my kids' incessant whinging (blogs on children and why you should never, ever have them, to follow))

now, you would think that, as a pretty much hip, happening youthful country, we would have some kind of semi decent national or even provincial radio station. please note "semi decent". i am not asking for the impossible, just a half dozen DJ's that have the following criteria:

1. the ability to read text, notes etc without it blatantly clear that they are reading off a page. you're on radio you doos, no one can see you, would it kill you to actually prepare for your show before the time?

2. the ability to actually mix it up when it comes to music selection, once again, I'm not asking for these guys/girls to actually mix one song into the next like a real DJ (god forbid) I'm just asking to please, PLEASE, throw in a couple of surprises, with 50 years worth of digital music a click of the mouse away, why do we have to hear the same 20 songs played to death! before i have a bunch of idiotic replies regarding playlists, show producer etc calling the shots, give me a break. they do ratings checks on radio stations and DJ's all the time, if i hear elana afrika play anything by led zepelin, pink floyd or pearl jam i might just start removing the knitting needles out of my elana afrika hair doll (ok, that's never gonna happen).

3. less talk, more talk talk. less jabber, more abba. great marketing by kfm some time back, only problem.....kfm sucks sweaty donkeys balls, and when their DJ's do talk (the morning show) i secretly pray that surgical scalpels magically appear from my speakers and slice my ears clean off.
5fm, you are the most current, national radio station, your DJ's are by far, the worst. i think Gareth Cliff and his team are quite brilliant, the problem begins at 9am, Sasha Martinengo, its bad enough you enjoy formula 1 so much that you feel the need to torture us with your incessant crap about this sport (?!) you are so far past your sell by date, you are like that ex pro tennis player who now teaches tennis at my kids school, cringe.
the only positive (that in itself is scary) of sasha is he blends the brilliance of gareth and the torture that is grant & anele. i think that, if grant and anele came on air after gareth, there would be a sharp rise in unexplained car accidents, i for one, have considered the 10 meter sheer plunge off the freeway flyover as an alternative to the crud that spews forth from these two DJ's mouths.
DJ fresh, you cant fool me bro, its your support team that pulls you through, your laugh is cool for about 2 minutes, after that, an inkling of talent would be appreciated. KB, rob vember, you guys deserve special mention, if ever you went into con artist work full time, you'd clean up, you got jobs on national radio, that's like me walking into cape town medi clinic and performing open heart surgery.

goodhope, safm, cape talk etc, these stations do not justify the energy required to type a comment.

in closing, i can hear the starting chords for kings of leon "radioactive", second time today on 5fm, it would have been such a cool concert, pity......